Respected Sir/Madam,

I am getting senile. I can’t even decide why I am upset. But I am upset. It is the upma. No, no. It is not a stomach upset. Upma is good. Not like adai.

My son Jan (short for Janakiraman) who was here for Deepavali is now returning to the US. Like all NRIs, he also brings a big, sorry, huge suitcase. His suitcase is full of gifts for the family when he comes. It returns packed with all kinds of special Indian groceries and snacks. Spices, podis, pickles, appalams, and all the stuff that the Ambika shop sells.

Mangalam and Jan went for shopping. Not me. I don’t even look at them. We may have entered 5G in telecom but in food for the last 5 generations, we are eating the same thing. Mother and son, were very excited about one of their purchases. Kellogg’s Ready-to-Eat upma.

Here is what followed between me and Jan. Thankfully, Mangalam was not around.

Jan: Appa see, I have bought 50 packets of Kellogg’s Upma.

JB: Kellogg’s Upma. Same Kellogg’s fellow that sells corn flakes.

Jan: Yes Appa. Same one. Isn’t it great? Kellogg’s selling instant upmas in India.

JB: They could not convert Indians to eat corn flakes and other mannangkatti cereals even after 25 years in India. Now they are selling upma to us. And a muttal like you is buying. Not one, but 50 packets.

Jan: It is Ready-to-Eat upma appa. So all I have to do is boil water and pour the packet into it. Like Bachelors soup. I will have some variety in my breakfast. Some change from Granola bars.

JB: First of all upma itself is Fast Food. What is the need to make it further ready-to-eat? Upma is Uppu Mavu. Uppu and mavu, salt and some flour, mostly rava. I can teach you in half an hour, how to make an upma.

Jan: Appa, I know your upmas. I remember, when amma would be away the upmas you made would be full of lumps. Sometimes, one side will have no salt and the other side will be so salty. In fact, every time you announced tiffin will be upma, I used to do acting that I have an upset stomach. Staying hungry was better.

JB: Yes. Agree. Those days, I used to cook occasionally. Now, your amma goes out often, attending all the engagements and weddings of all her friends and their relatives. Now, I am an expert. What is the price?

Jan: Not much.One packet 40 Rs. It is good for one person.

JB: With 40 Rs, I can make upma for 4 people. It would be so much tastier.

Jan: They have cashew nuts and all. So they must be better.

JB: Ha ha. I know their gimmicks.. Like a diamond in a coal mine, you will have to search for cashews in the upma.

Jan: You are from Jambawan era appa.

JB: Let these American companies sell their corn flakes and muesli. I am happy with my homemade upma and idli.

Jan : They are saying it tastes like Amma’s cooking.

JB: All marketing gimmicks. Can they make upma like my patti? I remember, when I was not married. I was on an inspection tour to Mayavaram. On the highway, I saw a milestone saying Manganallur 10 km. I decided to visit my patti, your great grandmother. When I visited her uninformed, she wanted to offer me something to eat. I was visiting her after years. She asked the domestic help to get some rava from the neighbourhood shop. She quickly rustled up a rava upma. Just a simple rava upma. No add-ons. Only rava, salt and green chillies with some oil. What delicious upma ! I have never had such an upma in my life. Can Kellogg’s add the love of a mother or a grandmother. My foot !

I am happy that American companies could not change our habits. Instead, they had to change. But, I am upset that our people like Jan are falling for their marketing gimmicks.

Yours in exasperation,

J Bhoothalingam